The title is sarcastic, just in case there is any confusion. This has been a particularly tough month(s). My body has had just about enough torment with the nursing home ‘sleeping’, Rotti carrying and now trying to play catch up on my healing with work and the wonderful monthly cycle accompanied by menopause. In the words of a friend of mine “I’m one hot mess!”

I have always had a bad back and the monthly routine was always a bit sore and painful in my lower back, until things started and then within a day or so the back pain would subside and I would feel ‘normal’ again. My normal is much different then most I can assure you, but normal for me none the less.

The last few years have been a roller coaster of good months and then some very bad months, at times simply trying to stand straight or walk is a huge problem, or sitting for that matter! Basically pain all day every day for months on end. So now you have some back ground …

This month with all the other physical issues my lower back has been seriously affected. I normally get some spotting on and off for a week before anything starts and some seriously heavy pain in my lower back to accompany it. When the spotting stops, the pain lessens and so on … normally lasts a few hours off and on for a few days then we’re good for a week til things start …. then rinse and repeat! lol

Well we do normally get to play in between and nothing major happens, I take a little bit of time to relax those abdominal muscles, ease into it if you will and once things get going all is well … but not this time! Sir and I were in the middle of some intimate time and then all of a sudden it felt like I just got knifed, from the inside, right where He was … if you get my drift. I screamed out, not in a good way and ended up scratching Him quite severely due to the pain, I was in tears and I am not one to cry.

The pain did subside but needless to say the mood was pretty much shot and well it was time for bed by then ….

The day/evening had been a bit of a confusing time for me not quite understanding what Sir wanted/needed from me and I think (hope) if I had had more time to get into the ‘mood’ it might not have been quite so serious. Sir gets His idea in His head as to how He wants the evening to go and that’s great but with no warning, or ‘seduction’ or any sort of communication of wants and needs it can sometimes be hard for me to switch gears so quickly.

Moral of the story, I unfortunately don’t come with an on/off switch Sir …. and I think sometimes you think you are being obvious but you are not, not to me anyway. I don’t want or need for you to give away all your secret plans but a few minutes of teasing or flirting or just plain ‘giving orders’ would be a great way to get me turned on and waiting, and hopefully make these physical issues less of a problem.

I hope this isn’t too confusing ….

Love You Sir ❤

 

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