I’m not sure if it’s simply being in tune with myself or if it’s complete honesty and trust or a combination of the two, but whatever it is Sir I do like sharing it with you!

I feel great today, thank you!

I tend to know my body and myself pretty well, outside of any extraordinary situations and I hazard to say that even then I catch on pretty quickly now a days. I try to be open and honest not just with you but mainly with myself. That usually means putting misconceptions or guilty feels aside and simply talking to you and letting you know whatever it is that is going on in my mind and heart. I know better than to wait until the feeling(s) get overwhelming or carry on so long that they get confused with other issues and then become much more difficult to sort out and address.

~ Case and point ~

On Sunday night I had a dream, a naughty one and not in a good way. I can’t remember much of it but I know I was feeling angry and probably hurt and I was very upset with Sir. In the dream I was angry enough to be holding a sneaker and be contemplating throwing it at his head! I don’t think I need to explain what kind of infraction that would be!!

The whole thing is pretty fuzzy but I do remember Him being in one room, then going into another room through a door way and turning around to look at me. The entire time in my dream I was trying to say something but He wasn’t letting me (how or why I don’t know, it was a dream, sometimes they don’t make sense) … As it looked like He was putting me off and ready to close the door behind himself was when I lifted the shoe and was ready to throw it. He gave me the ‘look’ that meant do you really want to do that, and I threw it down and at the wall instead.

Now none of this would ever happen in real life, I just don’t play that way, but it did have me a bit confused in the morning as to why I would be dreaming such a thing? We haven’t been having any issues personally and I hadn’t been feeling angry or neglected in my daily life, so what was that dream all about?

So in my morning text to Sir I told Him about my dream, and sat with the information in type for a bit and then it all started to make sense. I tend to be a very balanced individual and I can tell both mentally and physically when things are even just starting to go off the mark. This dream was my mind’s way of letting me know that I needed something, I needed more ….The door and it closing was my way of understanding that I felt He wasn’t there for me, He wasn’t giving me what I needed. Not throwing the shoe at Him meant I still wanted this way of life, but throwing it at all meant I was needing more …. so I needed to share it with Him.

Now I know things have been crazy around here and I know that nothing has gone according to plan but if my mind is telling me something, so bluntly then I’m going to do my best to listen. Feelings don’t need to make sense to be valid, they just are.

I didn’t decide to keep the information to myself, ‘just to be sure’, or because Sir has too many other things to worry about right now, or because He might feel guilty or bad, or even because there really was nothing amiss and I was just feeling guilty and selfish about feeling like I needed even more from Him right now in the first place. None of these are open and honest options and none of these are my choice anyway.

If I know something, or think I know something it is my job to tell Sir, so I did. My dream was Sunday night, it is now Tuesday morning and I feel very well taken care of and at peace once more. Balance is once again restored …. and I hazard to say that balance is restored for Sir also, I tend to notice more quickly than He but we both always feel better later and we never go ‘off track’ even just a little bit for very long, as you can see.

Love You Superman ❤

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