So I’ve had this ‘idea’ scribbled, saved in my drafts for over a month now. It’s not something I’m working on or trying to fix or anything like that Sir, it just came about because of a conversation I was having. It’s just my view on life you could say, my two cents!

I identified with this topic on two levels, one being first love, young, naive and whole-hearted. When everything is a big deal, every look is soooo meaningful and the smallest act is translated to ‘OMG He’s so awesome’!! When we’re young and have no other responsibilities, all our attention is on our crush and we very actively find ways to make them good, and great and the best thing that has ever happened to us. That’s why everyone remembers their ‘first love’ because we wear some big *ss rose-coloured glasses and we make everything mean something ……

And then we grow up. Things become less exciting and our hearts don’t beat frantically every time we have a dinner date. Been there, done that … we think. No need to get our hopes up, no need to make it more than it is, we get cynical, we get guarded.

Eventually (hopefully) someone comes along that makes us feel naive again in this game of love. We meet, we laugh, we love, we marry. Everything is great again, not quite as all-encompassing perhaps as the first love but pretty darn close. So we give, we wait and we wonder … and then life starts again. Responsibilities creep back in and our days go from waiting and panting shamelessly to pushing each other off, or getting frustrated because our partner didn’t do exactly what we wanted. We get angry and then we just get closed off and alone. And then we wonder, what happened? Why isn’t he doing what he used to do, why isn’t he all that I remember, why isn’t he my dream anymore?

And then we find this thing called D/s – and we want it to save us. We want it to make it all better and we once again dive head first into our relationship …. It’s like going back to high school. Every little thing he does is great, all actions are looked at in the best light and we are oh so happy ….. for a while. And then life goes on, and things get to be usual again and then we once again start to wonder …. why isn’t he doing what he used to?

Well the reality is, he IS doing what he used to, you just no longer put such emphasis on the action as you once did. When you don’t react like you used to, he doesn’t get a charge like he used to, and so on and so on ….

When we are young and uninhibited things are different …. we can’t have that again unless we get that uninhibited again. When we are young with D/s and uninhibited things are also different. If you want that back then you need to get that uninhibited again.

I think our first love is like going back to high school as an adult … it all seemed so much bigger then …. it’s our choice to keep the feeling or let it die. 


I still wonder at you Bear!

Love you Always Sir ❤


One thought on “Rekindle

  1. Reblogged this on Sir's nijntje and commented:

    I’ve got a bit of a cold again so I really haven’t got anything pressing to post about, well I always have something … but my headache is keeping me from concentrating enough to write!
    I’ll reblog this one that speaks to keeping things fresh and exciting in life and in relationships. The basic point is that if you want it to feel great and wonderful you need to make the choice to look at it in that light.
    When you are smitten with a person the smallest gesture has the greatest meaning but as we get comfortable things seem to be less because we have let them mean less to us. It’s all in how you look at it really.
    I left Sir a note in the coffee filters this morning, a big ‘kiss’ to start His day. Not a huge gesture but I’ll bet it was effective in putting a smile on His face and brightening His day, because He chose to put that much emphasis on it. I’m willing to bet that He has it in His back pocket too …
    If He didn’t react like that I likely wouldn’t be doing things like that … and vice a versa.


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