So I have been trying for a while now on and off to make Sir see the benefits of maintenance or reset spankings, in my case anyway.
I’ve written on here about the feelings and relaxation I get from BDSM play and the benefits that come from that in my mind and body. That type of play however with work and kids and responsibilities, not to mention illnesses and winter temperatures has been pretty difficult to come by. There is still a lot of play and kink but in order for me to be totally and completely out of my mind and relaxed the experience needs to go on for hours. It doesn’t feel like hours to me but the clock always assures me otherwise …. so I might not get the amount of R and R that I crave.
Back to the ‘bottom’ of the issue, spankings! Talking about this makes me feel very silly and dumb, yes even for me who doesn’t seem to be phased by much when I need to address this topic I feel ridiculous. More so I think because I have had to open up completely and restate, what seems like, the same thing to Sir over and over. Obviously I’m not doing a very good job of it … maybe my embarrassment is holding me back …
I’m not the type to act out, and I’m not the type to misbehave or pout or just act bratty in general. I always do everything that has been asked of me and I am very good at remembering and expediting everything, all the time … which means that I never need to be corrected or punished or put in my place in a real situation. (Sometimes I ‘act up’ a little with permission and get ‘punished’ for the infraction but it’s all in fun.)
The last time I was in real trouble and a correction made was last August.
My point I guess is that I do start to feel restless and a bit squirrely in my mind but I never do enough externally to make Sir see that my mind could really just use a reset back to a calm submissive state!
So I’m going to bite the bullet and ask him again. Part of me feels like I’m being toppy and that just feels wrong, and part of me feels very foolish for asking and I don’t like that either …. but if He doesn’t know then it’s my job to be truthful and tell.
For whatever reason a good hard and fast spanking resulting in a stingy ass will calm the crazy that tends to over take me from time to time. Without it I don’t act out like I said before, but I go into a place in my mind that says ‘you are an adult and responsible for your damn self, stop screwing around and grow up. You are in control of your own feelings so figure it out …’ This type of thought puts me back in control, back in charge and not where I now want to be.
Some time later ….
It would appear that Sir was reading and listening after all … Thank you Sir! I feel much calmer all ready.
Love You Sir ❤