A friend of mine got really real on here and maybe I should too. I do have an issue with ‘airing my dirty laundry’ I guess. Old fashioned European values or hangups, depending on how you see it.

You don’t know me and can’t see me so you have no reference to go by so I feel that I have to explain a certain amount for it to make sense, but when I do that I feel like I’m either bragging or whining. Obviously this is MY hangup, it has been ingrained into my being and if anything this would be what I am working to fight off …. or fix.

I can tell you I am a good, honest hard working person and you can either believe me, or not. Instead of giving examples I’m just going to move forward …

I have two children, boys 14 and 16 within the next month. Both boys are exceptionally smart. I’m not just a mom saying that they are, 1 has been labeled ” exceptionally intellectually gifted”. If you have paid any attention to my blog you know how I feel about labels …. so although we have given him every opportunity that he has chosen to pursue we have not pushed and we have not mentioned labels to him or anyone in the family.  The fact that the boys are smart is self evident, I don’t see the point of pointing it out, what could you possibly gain from that but extra pressure to an already trying time in ones life.

So with exceptional intelligence unfortunately also comes a variety of mental and emotional issues. You can google them, you will find page upon page …. and in my case there is also a family history of bipolar and schizophrenic disorders which fit in nicely with the exaggerated brain power. Too much thinking makes you a little nutty apparently! (Not funny I know, but hey if you are in the situation you should be allowed to find a way to deal!)

So during the day and everyday I find myself dealing with two teen age boys who are very much like their mother but each in their own way. Do you honestly think I can be a wishy washy wait and see what Sir has to say type of gal when either of them decides that they want something, or to do something and they are looking at me for answers? They are too smart, too opinionated and too strong to have me be any less then that and still have their respect as their head of household.

So yes I am strong, I am opinionated and tough as nails. Just the other day I had my very smart and slightly emotionally disturbed teen seriously tear a couple slices off my hide because I didn’t feel he needed an air soft gun. As my child I don’t want to tear into him like I would someone else but I won’t deny that getting called all sorts of wrong by your own child doesn’t hurt. Before I would have reached for some Gin and a pack of smokes ….

As a submissive however I went up to our bedroom. Sir was already in bed because although it was very early He was not feeling well and was already asleep. I didn’t say anything but I did basically kneel, fall, wait beside the bed and have a mini break down because of how my normally very sweet child made me feel.

Sir got up and held me and helped me and made it okay. He showed me in my time of need that no matter what the situation I was not alone. He showed me He believed in me and I was still a good person, even after what I had just been through.

My submission means that I can go to Him and be cared for and helped instead of withdrawing deep into myself. It has nothing to do with BDSM or play or kneeling or whatever …. those are all byproducts or fun times but they are not the connection.

Knowing I will forever have someone to take care of me no matter what or when is the connection ….

Love You Sir ❤

 

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4 thoughts on “Married Submissive with children and responsibilities …

  1. I know I have said this already but I get it. Our 18 is extremely intelligent ( again not a label we gave him) AND or because of the fact, he has dyslexia. For those not in the know, it has so much more than the transverse of letters. Seeing how I was the key DNA contributor to that little gem, most of our lives has been me helping him cope. Well needless to say the emotional turmoil gets far more difficult in advanced teen years, (when you are constantly told you are extremely intelligent, yet …anyway).

    I would suppose it was our second year into Dd- when I discovered something I wasn’t happy about (understatement of the year). I sat in his ‘oh so clean boy’ bedroom on the floor and collapsed. I sobbed uncontrollably actually. Prior to this ttwd, I would have came out of his room like a raging bull, never probably bothering to seek out my husband. That day he found me, and despite the discovery, (and hardened mystery socks) he picked me up and said, ” I am so proud of you. You let your real emotion out” . For years I let anger be the first one out, bulldozing hurt, fear, insecurity.

    In someways life has become so much more difficult when you FEEL these authentic emotions, yet so much better too. My husband, who since that time I have sought out in difficult times, now has the ability to not only help ME, but the children, and he can feel ‘ten feet tall’ knowing I actually NEED him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Change the bulldozer to the Great Wall of Nijntje and we could be twins! 🙂 My biggest fear was actually beginning to need someone, probably the scariest thing I’ve ever let myself do!

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