Today’s shower talk ….

In my travels I have spoken to people and read ideas that seem to imply or in some cases state, that the submissive more or less keep thoughts feelings and ideas that the dominant might not like, to themselves. Hide away if you will the things that might make the dominant upset for fear of punishment or chastisement.

Some will say that they have open lines of communication but (if you’ll pardon my language) you’re to pussy foot around the subject or it will not be taken to kindly and again result in punishment, chastisement or the shutting down of the dominant figure in the relationship.

So my question is, HOW does this bring you closer together exactly? How is it that the connection between two people is enhanced if at least one of you, if not both are merely actors upon the stage of life?

If you are so busy sticking to roles and rituals where does the real you with real feelings belong?

How is it that making statements about putting things in kinky places and deep dark secrets of sexual acts is okay but stating that you are feeling somewhat neglected or underwhelmed has become taboo ….. really?

I can’t say I understand that train of thought, or lifestyle ….

Love You Sir ❤




5 thoughts on “Baffled

  1. Ridiculous. Isn’t TTWD supposed to be bringing us closer? If we as partners can’t disclose everything to each other, something is really wrong. I know in my own case there are times I can’t talk about something with Sir (I don’t even know why – shame, embarassment, fear, old thoughts or feelings) and when he pushes me to do so, there are usually tears but we both always feel so much better afterward. I don’t know why I ever doubt myself or more importantly, Sir. We are so strong together. Keeping secrets or hiding things breaks us apart.

    You are such a good submissive, n!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Meh, to each his own I suppose. I think when people first start down this road many a submissive remains mute on their fears, needs, desires, dislikes, as a means to keep things flowing. The thing generally is that over time that leaves not one but BOTH wanting. You become a submissive not a doormat. However HOW you choose to express yourself is an entirely different situation.

    To be frank, we don’t stand on protocol or rituals. It isn’t us. At least in the way that many do ‘around here’. It doesn’t make me any less of a submissive. My husband does not like the idea of kneeling ( well you know sometimes he does *wink*), so I don’t do that. I submit to his wishes. D/s IMHO is about being dominated and submitting. It doesn’t mean not communicating. I didn’t wake up one day, look at my husband and say, ” I am going to just go without thought. Go along with whatever you say, without expressing anything. So basically now you are on your own. The woman you fell in love with is no longer. Create whomever you want”.

    You know though, maybe that works for some…*OR* maybe many put up the falsehood that THEY are doing this because they believe that others think that is the only acceptable way to be?


    Liked by 1 person

  3. I might get blasted for this but I feel to truly submit you need to give everything over, even all your feelings. For me anyway THAT is the most difficult part and the part that takes the most trust…. once that happened for me there was no more second guessing, no hiding and no battle.
    Our thoughts and feelings are the real us after all, are they not? The rest is just a show for whatever situation we find ourselves in, we act appropriately.


    1. I think to ‘truly submit’ is probably one of those subjective things. I will say that over time one of the things I have realized is that you submit what you can at that time. Providing you are giving all you can, you are truly submitting. HOWEVER as we are ever evolving, both as women and in our relationships, I have also come to realize there is no ‘there’. There is ‘there’ for the time being, but that will most certainly change again, allowing us to discover that there is always another or new way to submit. Meh growth…LOL

      Of course this is off topic to your original post. LOL. Feelings are very much the basis of almost all of our discussions over here. That being said, perhaps those who are holding on so tightly to not submitting their ‘s to their Dom/Dommes, are in a different place currently than others? Perhaps this is an area where they feel comfortable, and they may never move from there. To them they are giving their particular all.

      Liked by 1 person

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