I’m not sure just what I would do if I no longer had my husband/partner/Sir/Master with me for whatever reason. Not that I think there is any reason to believe that will happen anytime soon which I guess makes it easier to wonder about it, I know nothing will change anytime soon so it is safe to do so. Just thinking out loud I guess …

I am certainly a masochist, sexual or not I enjoy pain, real pain. Unfortunately I have been through a time in my life that the physical pain was easier to deal with then the emotional pain, and so I started inflicting pain on myself. This took on many forms but at the end of it it left no room for thinking and I guess that’s what I needed, maybe still need?

That being said, I am not a submissive personality in general. I have no problem submitting to Sir but He earned the right a long time ago. I don’t honestly believe I would give another the opportunity to do so, I just don’t need it, not anymore. Sir has helped me beat my demons …. I no longer damage myself with my need for pain, I have found a better way to manage.

In short I am a dominant with a masochistic streak, I submit to One and I trust no one else …. where does that leave me in this kinky world? Anyone?

I love the mind f#%k and can pull it off with the best of them but I am not a sadist ….. hummm.


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