I recently read a post that made me want to write this out …. I hope it helps!
If you are not feeling very submissive, if you are not able to follow through with your agreed upon actions, if you are not able to be respectful and polite in your speech, I have a question … Why are your needs not being met?
Assuming again that you have agreed to this lifestyle freely and your dominant is worthy, why are your needs not met? The resentment, the battle for control, the sass … none of it happens if you are happy and content with your role, with your life, so what’s missing? If your dominant truly is fit for the task then chances are you are NOT giving Him/Her the information they need in order to see to your needs and keep you healthy body and mind.
I have learned through time and experience that most of us have a very hard time being truly honest with ourselves, and with our partners. My instincts tell me that either you have not freely and honestly given your dominant all the information you hold, all the truth you need in order for a proper D/s relationship to feed both partners; or you have not given yourself the truth of what you need and therefor couldn’t pass the information along.
My suggestion is some soul searching and some brutal honesty, first with yourself and then with your dominant. And regardless of what type of relationship you are in or what side of the dynamic you fall on, there is never a time that rudeness is appropriate.
If you are still walking around with a chip on your shoulder and something to prove then your dynamic is not working very well. If He is pulling His weight then what is it that you haven’t given? There is a missing piece to this puzzle and it likely lies with you.
If ever I feel like something feels ‘faked’ I inform my Sir that I don’t feel quite right, we communicate together and get to the root of the issue and then we take steps to correct it. Nothing about my relationship ever feels fake but it takes a lot of honesty and truth on MY part in order for that to be the case.
Good Luck All!