How menopause affects your Dynamic – Mental/Emotional

So while we are on the topic of labels and such and how to navigate road blocks in your dynamic …. how does menopause affect the way your dynamic is worked out. And if you are deep enough into the serving and ‘servicing’ Sir when ever and how ever He wants, how does this wonderful Beast of a thing play into that role?

Well I have touched on the mental and emotional aspects a little in the previous post but I’d like to delve just a bit deeper. I can only speak from my own experience of course but I remember very clearly going through days and weeks of a ‘dark cloud’ feeling just following me around no matter what was going on or what was being planned. No issue was needed for my emotional state to just be down, or angry or completely indifferent to things from time to time.

So how do you cope with this and put on a happy face when your dominant wants something from you and the only thoughts in your head are ‘#@%$’ and “%#$@&”! No amount of centering yourself or focusing on the task at hand are going to help, because frankly your chemical balance is off and this is something that is just going to happen. You need a support system to deal with it and you need like minded people in this instance to find that support system and understand, or at least try to understand, what you are coping with.

Unfortunately when I reached out I was told that menopause had nothing to do with D/s and therefor should not be a topic I was addressing. It was only one site mind you and I’m not saying there isn’t help out there, I frankly hadn’t bothered to look after that incident.  I have never been a ‘chatter’ or relied on the internet for company in my day to day life so it simply just put me off looking for help completely. As I said before, your mental state during this time is not the best either and likely another reason I didn’t bother to look further!

For anyone who hasn’t experienced this issue I like to draw parallels between menopause and teenagers. We all know how teens act and react differently when their body chemistry starts to change. There is an adjustment period where moods and attitudes tend to suffer because of the rush of chemical changes and imbalances that they are experiencing. It’s like they have no real control over what they are feeling and sometimes over what they are saying one would think! Well as a simplified way of thinking, menopause is basically the same only backwards. You are not experiencing an onset of new chemicals but you are losing and changing the ones you have been working with for years. The emotional aspects tend to look and feel very similar.

So YES menopause does affect your D/s dynamic and there are many things you might have to address with your dominant by way or preparing mentally for play or just basic daily routines. Some days the mental stress is just too high and things might need to be just a bit more relaxed then you/They would normally have them.

Sir was never harsh or uncaring and never pushed me further then I could go but the self imposed guilt was my biggest issue and what I had hoped to get help/relief from by reaching out. Hopefully this helps anyone out there who may be going through the same thing …. When you are in the midst of the menoBeast you don’t always realize you are there. Trying to see your way through the fog is a challenge at the best of times, and for any submissive out there, knowing you are letting down your dominant can be heart wrenching.

And I haven’t even touched on the physical manifestations of menopause that get in the way of play …. coming soon! 🙂

(Anyone out there who needs to talk is welcome to contact me through comments. I will gladly help you talk your way through and will keep your comments private if you wish.)

Love You Always Sir! ❤

(For years I didn’t even realize I was starting the process of menopause, it can be drawn out over 10 years from start to finish and some ‘side effects’ are not widely known until you start searching for yourself. There is a lot of help out there and contacting your doctor if you think you are having issues is always a good idea!)

2 thoughts on “How menopause affects your Dynamic – Mental/Emotional

  1. I have never seen anyone address this issue in a D/s blog or website before. I think it is a VERY important topic and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Menopause is the ugly stepsister topic nobody wants to talk about. It isn’t cute or pretty, and there sure are no easy, fun, or one-size-fits-all answers.

    I was artificially induced into menopause about 5 years early due to being diagnosed with breast cancer at age 45. My tumor was estrogen-receptor positive and so that meant I needed to be in menopause to go through chemotherapy. I was scared of menopause because my mother had such a terrible time with hers. It wasn’t the emotional aspect, but the physical part which affected her the most, and it seemed endless. She gained weight she could never seem to lose, and had horrid hot flashes which went on for decades.

    I was lucky. I did have hot flashes for awhile, but I discovered if I don’t eat too much sugar, they aren’t bad at all. The interesting thing is that my libido markedly increased after menopause, and I’ve heard this happens to some women. Before, I frankly wasn’t all that interested in sex. Now it is a big part of my life and it seems much more intense and pleasureable.

    I think more women should talk about menopause so that we are not afraid of it and in fact see it as just another part of our lives. A part which could yield surprising new discoveries about ourselves and our bodies, if approached positively.

    Thank you so much, Nijntje!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for your kind words and understanding! I won’t address any physical issues here because I do plan on writing about them soon but let’s just say “I have more issues then vogue” as the saying goes! LOL

    I was only about 36 and needless to say menopause was not the first thing I thought of when dealing with weird physical issues that made no sense to me at the time. Night sweats were my first noticeable issue but I thought it was a reaction to some medication I was on …. guess not! 😀


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