The word punishment is widely used in the D/s community but I prefer to think if it as a correction and then forgiveness. It is meant to be a learning and forgiveness tool and not just a punishment. The idea behind this part of the dynamic is that you both learn and grow from the action, not humiliation or retribution.
I found that the idea of punishment was actually much more appealing to me then to Sir at the beginning. Not because I wanted to be in trouble but because I really wanted to feel like He was holding me accountable and because I wanted Him to see that I truly was sorry for whatever I had done and that I really wanted to be my best for Him. I also wanted it to be a way of knowing for sure that He saw this himself and truly was able to see my remorse and give me His forgiveness.
Notice a pattern? I was the one much more interested and invested in the idea, not Him. I knew that my mind would keep me full of guilt especially after I had given my word to follow and obey and then turned around and did something so foolish or just plain rude. In the beginning I needed the correction much more then He did.
It was important for me/us that I took this idea and all the embarrassment and self consciousness that comes with it and explained it to Him point blank.
One of the misconceptions that Sir had was that a correction had to be really harsh, or even physical for that matter. In our view it does not. He is not interested in bruising me from top to bottom or making me cry uncontrollably from the physical pain He is inflicting, that is NOT our style. As a submissive I can assure you that the idea of having disappointed or hurting Him is much more painful then anything He uses as a correction. A correction should be poignant and unpleasant but you decide just what that means to you and your Sir, no one else.
Once we had discussed all of this and decided on an appropriate correction(s) for us I’m sure it was still fueled by my need in the beginning. The first couple of times were likely not something He would have done if I hadn’t brought it up in the first place but it is now the first place we both run to in order to correct and forgive and start fresh. No guilt and no torment from the past, only a fresh new start and with both of us feeling relieved and settled back into our lives. None of it however would be happening if I hadn’t been honest and opened up about my need in the first place, it is now OUR need but it did start off as mine…..
Love You Always Sir ❤