Why BDSM for me

Besides being enjoyable physically there is a much more important thing that BDSM provides for me. For me the mental aspects of the exercise are more important and needed and allow me to function in a more relaxed and happy state in general.

When I think of our dynamic I know that there is not much need for rules or corrections in our day to day life. Generally speaking you already have things the way you want them and really have no want to change anything or add anything to the daily interactions. I’ve been practicing putting you first in my mind for nearly 21 years. Likewise you have been watching out for my best interests and giving me the support and attention I need in order to be the best ‘me’ I can be. I think we’ve got this! 🙂

So this is where the BDSM comes into play. It allows a physical show of your dominance and my submission. It allows for me to truly feel that you are in control and in charge of everything in a very overt manner. There is no question that you are the lead and that you will take care of and plan for all aspects of the exercise. I have no choice but to rely on you to care for and be responsible for me.

This is the time when my mind can truly be free. Free of the planning and thinking and wondering… I just get to feel and be in the moment. The impact allows for an overwhelming amount of physical sensation leaving no room for the mental faculties to take hold. Absolute freedom from thought – quiet.

BDSM is my vacation ….. ! The chains, the cuffs, the flogger and all the rest. The less control I have physically the more relaxed I can be mentally; and the more I can feel that you are in charge.

Love You Always Sir! ❤


Starting to Spiral?

Humm, not really sure what to write about today, not really feeling much about anything to be honest. This cold, or whatever it is is still hanging on making me kind of drag my feet. Anytime this wants to go on it’s merry way would be great!

I hope you do start scheduling some play time and making a plan as to what you would like to do/use so that perhaps we could get a bit more active in the scene aspect of the dynamic. The weather is kind of putting a damper on outside play time but perhaps you could start looking at some things that you can do inside instead?

Missing a bit of physical domination ……

Perhaps feeling a bit less then submissive lately. Starting to feel a bit caged in my own mind again.

Once in a while I start wondering if I even want to bother doing it any more. I don’t want to get excited or worked up because I don’t want to get disappointed but that also means the there is no excitement towards doing it either.

The dominant sex play is certainly there and very satisfying for sure but the level of helplessness is not the same. I’m not getting lost into it the same way and I don’t want to get my hopes up for something that isn’t coming.

Needing your guidance now Sir.   ❤



Working out my hangups

I try to be realistic and honest so that we can have things the way we want them and the way they work best for us but I would be lying if I said that things I have read or people I have spoken with don’t influence my actions in some respect. One of the most difficult for me for whatever reason is the idea of coming on to you instead of always waiting for you to start things with me …

Why in the world one would think that just because you are the dominant you wouldn’t want to be wanted or pursued as well is beyond me. Unfortunately the thought has been put into my head and seems to make me think twice before ‘asking’ for your attention instead of just sitting back and waiting. I suppose that if it was a weekend warrior scenario like in the books and movies then it would make more sense but as a 24/7 married couple the idea is really silly (to me anyway).

I suppose if I was the type to get upset or whiny if I wasn’t getting attention you would know that I still wanted you very much even though I was never to start something. But I’m not that way … so if I never start and never whine and just basically let you have your way when you want and show no signs otherwise, wouldn’t you start to think after a while that I really wasn’t interested and the only reason I did was because you said so? Wouldn’t it be natural for you to eventually start losing interest or at least stop trying? (Pretty sure I’ve heard of this scenario once or twice!)

So …. I’ve written it down, that always helps to get it out of my head! We’ve discussed it, this is what you want. You like having me all over you and you like having the power to say yes or no. This is our dynamic and what everyone else thinks or does is their’s to own, this is ours.

My self help project for the New Year! lol  Love You Always   ❤

January 1st – New Year

I’m not sure how to describe it but it feels like everything is new and everything is the same …. all at once.

There is a spark in your eyes that I don’t think was there before. Maybe I saw it, maybe not …. You are the same, but maybe just a bit different?

Maybe when you look at me now you don’t just see me, you see all of me, and you see that I really do belong to you ….. all of me.

I would love to get your view.  Do tell me Sir ….