As we mature into our roles I think that the expectations from a dominant/my dominant have changed some or at least been refined along the way. The very beginning was centered on a lot of expectations that had kinky origins or a ritualistic feel. Like everyone else I had read some books and talked to people or read web sites that had very specific ideas of rules and rituals that had to be followed in order to ‘be D/s”.
Little did I realize then that the ideas they were proclaiming were going to end up feeling very false or pretend. Once I realized that this was something much more important and much more meaningful then just kinky sex I was able to put things into their proper order in the priority list, for me anyway.
The things that make me the happiest now about you being my dominant are much different then planning scenes and writing out rules and rituals to be followed or else … but then again when I asked you for this lifestyle it was to show you my gratitude and my love; and for all you had done for me already. I wasn’t hoping to rekindle any spark and I wasn’t really trying to fix a broken marriage. It was never broken, but it has certainly been enhanced.
The biggest, best, most important, most fundamental change/rule/realization that this dynamic has brought about is the idea that neither of us has the right to withhold information from the other or jump to conclusions about anything that has been brought up in conversation. Nothing is taken for granted and everything is out in the open to be discussed and resolved.
This alone allows you to take responsibility for fixing issues or helping me resolve whatever is happening. This makes it so that you are paying attention to me, you are sharing with me and you are being honest and invested in us! And it is obvious to me, so I don’t feel ignored, neglected, taken for granted or not listened too! And it works equally well for you in all the same areas just other side of the coin.
Having you to look to and count on is so much more then kinky sex and playing dress up. The rituals alone may start some sort of thinking or feeling deep down in your dominant self but the idea that they are the be all and end all of such a fantastic opportunity is frankly sad. Likewise looking for the peace and enlightenment of submission simply by doing tasks, following orders and being tossed about in bed is just a shadow of what you can truly achieve.
Still struggling to feel submission in all the tasks and rituals and wondering what it is that you are missing? Make yourself and open book to your dominant and expect the same from Him to you. Everything else will simply fall into place …..
Love You Always ❤