No Sex!

I don’t write about my sex life and I won’t write about my sex life on this blog. Although some might think that the kinky or rough sex is the basis of a D/s relationship I happen to strongly disagree.

The emotional connection and strength and honesty it takes to carry on with a real D/s relationship is enhanced by a sexual relationship, not based on it. In my opinion at least if you are using sex as the glue holding it together then you are doing it wrong.

You can have great, wonderful kinky rough sex with anyone you choose, it does not mean that you love and care for each other or that you share a bond that won’t be broken.  If you’ve spent all your time trying for the perfect ‘scene’ but still find the day to day interactions to be difficult or unnatural then you are probably focusing on the wrong thing.

If you truly want your relationship to bloom you need to focus on the trust, respect and honesty it takes to communicate and interact with each other at a most basic, primal level. Strip away all the insecurity and shame or pride and prejudice (love the book btw) and truly see each other for who you are and what you need. If you are honest with yourself and your Dominant and He/She is honest with you then you will finally be able to achieve that D/s you were looking for ….

If you think sex is the basis of the relationship you are reading the wrong blog.

4 thoughts on “No Sex!

  1. Sometimes it can take sex to jumpstart the emotional connection. I know this was the case for us. Getting that back on track initially allowed for us to be able to communicate which is where the true progress happens.
    Worrying too much about scenes isn’t beneficial to building the power exchange. Besides that’s the Doms responsibility.


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