I’ve been talking a lot lately to people all over the world and the one common thread is how many of us have demons in our past that we just can’t shake. Everyone has ways of dealing with them, or so they say …. In my opinion dealing with them usually means hiding from the truth or pushing it deep down where you think no one can see it and it can’t reach you. My experience has been that that way of dealing really just doesn’t work.
In order to truly be over whatever it is that is weighing you down in life you need to first face it, head on. It likely won’t be easy and it won’t be pleasant but it will be worth it in the end. You need to start this journey just like any other you actually wish to conquer, with being really honest with yourself.
Many times I have heard people tell me that they have dealt with issues and everything is fine but one hint of that person or topic spins you into a tempest of emotions that dictate your entire day, or worse. Is that really dealt with then?
I have found that looking at situations in a realistic fashion is difficult when you are emotionally involved but necessary if you really want to get on with it and get over it. Like everything else I do, write it down, just the facts and then look at what you really have. I am a strong believer that NO ONE can make you do or feel anything. The choice is yours.
I know people can be cruel, believe me I do but how you choose to react to the situation is up to you. Are you going to allow them to make you crazy over whatever words it is that they have chosen to throw at you? Is it really worth your mood or your day? If you allow yourself to feel this over and over then you will eventually lose parts of yourself all over someone who doesn’t deserve your time in the first place.
Make a choice, don’t give them more power over you then they deserve. Hard limits for all relationships. If they can’t respect you and speak to you in a tone that you can handle then perhaps you should just stop listening.
All your old baggage you need to deal with, really deal with and make peace with it. Was it really worth all your stress and heart ache? Is it something you can forgive or just something you need to put into the past and walk away from? What has it taken from you? Trust, self-confidence, self-respect, your ability to be truly open and honest in your relationship? If you are still holding on to thoughts and emotions and holding back from your dominant then it certainly has ….
My advice would be to identify what it has taken from you and start taking steps in fixing those parts of you. You can’t change other people and some of them might not ever stop but if you fix what it has done to you, you will find that what they say no longer matters.
Give your self the right to feel, the right to fix what you feel and the right to take your life back.
My rant for today 🙂