I often hear about the idea of not being able to talk to your Dominant or not wanting to talk to your Dominant because you feel you will be burdening him/her with your issues. You know they have been working hard and work stress might be getting to them. You know they have not been feeling very well and so you want to give them some space. Whatever the issue is, you have decided that now is not the time to approach them with whatever it is that is on your mind, right?

Wrong! Whether you know it or not you have just assumed control of that situation. You have decided you know the best course of action, keep it to yourself. You are essentially taking the control away from your Dominant by not giving them the chance to hear you out and decide for themselves what the next step should be.

If your Dominant  wants to deal with the issue, they will. If they want time to access it, they will and if they want to come back to it at a better time, they will. The choice should be their’s to make, not yours.

I found that personally I wasn’t able to do this until I understood that the only way to give up complete control, truly, is by honestly having complete trust in Sir. I needed to trust that he was going to do what was best in ALL situations. I needed to be really honest with myself in the reasoning behind not ‘burdening’ him. Did I not trust him enough to handle it? Was I worried that I wasn’t going to get the response I wanted? Did I still really want to keep control of that situation…. did I still know best?

If you truly trust someone and you truly want them to lead you, then you don’t second guess them. You follow … happily!

If you can’t trust them that deeply, perhaps you want to rethink following ….

One thought on “Keeping things from your Sir – because you don’t want to add to his ‘plate’?

  1. I count on you trust in me to do what needs to be done.I look forward to taking care of the issues that come up and moving on. I would do anything for you.
    You are right nijntje about assuming control. Your Sir is there to take your issues and deal with them. Stop assuming he does not want to. That is one of his responsibilities as your Sir. Let him do his job.

    With Love



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