You know how sometimes you think you know what you’re doing then, BLAMM!
Just when you think you have it all figured out …. someone comes out of no where and dumps an ice bucket on your head! If only I could find the on/off switch for give a crap and don’t give a crap!
“The scariest monsters are the ones that live deep down in your soul!” Edgar Allen Poe
I’m both glad you’re taking the reins and kind of scared that maybe I might just get what I asked for…. Not scared really, but more like anxious and nervous. I’m sure you know me well enough by now to know what I need and what I don’t.
We’ve been on this new D/s journey for about a year now and some things came naturally to us and some we had to figure out along the way. I know you have been working very hard to make this happen and I can feel that it’s becoming part of you in everything you do.
I’m sure you’ve been admitting things to yourself now more then ever in regards to what you like about my actions and what behaviours you really don’t. I’m willing to bet that you no longer need as much input from me as to how to proceed. I’m guessing in your own mind you’ve got this figured out. And I know that whatever you decide will be because you have my best interests at heart ….. Holy Crap!
So I want to give you my commitment to try and always submit to you (even if somethings along the way may not be easy for me to swallow). I promise to always do my best for you! No matter what you ask, Yes Sir …..
I’m not sure how it works or why it helps but my maintenance spankings always seem to calm my mind. Maybe it’s because I know you care enough to take control, maybe it’s because I can let my mind go blank for a time …. mostly I think it’s because I feel like I belong to you.
You always seem so connected to me once you are through, like you just can’t get close enough to me, like I’m inside you. I’m not sure if that’s true or just wishful thinking but it is the way it feels to me. Is this when you feel the most in control of me? Is this one of the times you feel most like Sir?
I think I just need to go through this mess in my mind every so often to keep the demons where they belong I suppose. It’s been so many years now but they still seem to sneak up on me every so often. I’ve been opening up to you so much these past few months that memories I had pushed deep deep down are once again so clear. I’m sure the surrounding drama with everyone else is pushing all this forward as well.
I love being yours Sir. I love the feeling of knowing I am completely yours and you know it and want it. You feel so strong and so safe when you are in that place I honestly can’t think of anywhere I would rather be. Love you always ….