What is submission to me?

What is submission to a strong independent person who knows that they can handle whatever life throws at them … that they will pick up, carry on and always succeed, no matter what. What is the point of being a submissive when you know full well that you can do it alone?

Well there in lies the kicker …. alone! Being strong and being powerful and being in control of everything also made me very much alone on my journey of life. Sure I was married, and happily so. We were soul mates, always together and never rude or cruel to each other. We always had each others best interest at heart and we always put each other first …so what changed?

I think the biggest changes are that I have learned to depend on you and I know that you care enough about me to notice where I am and what I am up to.

Depending on you has lifted a great weight off my shoulders. It doesn’t mean that I don’t work just as hard and just as fast, it just means that I don’t carry the burden alone! It means that if I have to take a step back and take a breath I don’t worry about how far back that will put me. I know that you will hold everything steady until I can pick up and move forward again. Sometimes that even means that you will do it for me and I can let go for a while ….

Knowing you care enough to hold me to being my best self means that someone thinks I’m worth watching. Someone thinks I’m THAT good and should be held to that standard, the standard that you see in me. It means you won’t let me be less then my best because you know I am capable and I am worth it.

Submission means I am my best self, I can be proud of myself and I am never alone ……

Love you Sir!

Welcome to my Dark Side!

These are a few of my favourite things:

  • pull my hair, hard – or hold my head down
  • move me around by my hair, or use the leash to pull me about
  • bite me, leave a mark …
  • hold my arms up, or down or behind my back – just hold them tight
  • hold me by my arms and my hair at the same time
  • pinching, biting, scratching – everywhere
  • when you pull my ass cheeks apart, rough …. when you tell me to do it for you
  • when you hold my hair hard and make me suck on you
  • when you tell me no …..
  • tie me up or use the spreader bars …. and tie me from the ceiling
  • being blindfolded and not knowing what’s going to happen next
  • when you give me directions….and then say good girl if I have pleased you
  • when you use your fingers on me and inside me
  • catch me by surprise – bend me over to take your pleasure, whatever that might be – but only take my panties down part way
  • be rough and fast but don’t finish, then get up and walk away ….with a smirk (tease, not rude)
  • send me upstairs abruptly and tell me to get naked and into a position of your choosing – quickly!

Some Kind of Wonderful

Hello my most wonderful Sir! I can’t even tell you how happy you are making me lately. We have always had a wonderful relationship but lately I really feel like you are very much into me too! I do love the way you are evolving in the bedroom as well, it’s like something out of a book or movie! I have to keep reminding myself that I am still awake. ย ๐Ÿ™‚

I know you have worked very hard over the past year to get us to where we are now. I really do appreciate everything you have done for me and I can’t tell you enough how happy I am. Knowing I have someone over my shoulder keeping me safe and picking me up when the weight gets to heavy is the most I could ever ask for.

I’m feeling loved, watched over, protected, cared for, wanted, needed, lusted for ๐Ÿ˜‰ ,safe, secure and at peace! I can only hope to be able to show you how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you.

I am very much looking forward to our practice and play! I hope you are as excited as I am …. love you!

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Oh, the anticipation!

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I’m very excited about our discussion last night Sir! You have this little bunny jumping all around the house! ๐Ÿ™‚

I know you can do a wonderful job if you put your mind to it, you already do! I have the utmost faith in you! And I’d like to think that you will enjoy yourself immensely as well. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you out …or thank you! *wink wink*

Love always!

Learning and growing into your shoes …

images (2)The weekend was wonderful as usual but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t missing some play time. I know you are working hard on other aspects of this dynamic and things are going really well. The fact that you knew something was off immediately tells me that I have definitely made the right choice in trusting you with this. You might not have known exactly what, but that will come with time and practice. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m glad you’ve decided to use some tasks again today, I was starting to think that perhaps you had forgot about them. They help me to stay connected to you when I know I am doing things because you said so….(and they are fun usually too!) I can’t deny that I have a pretty high sex drive and they help with that as well, although they are not as satisfying as you might think Sir! Normally it helps ‘take the edge off’ as they say but just leaves me hoping you have something very exciting or rough planned for later, because I will probably be getting more and more worked up as the day goes on.

As to BDSM play – I really think we/you need to commit yourself to a certain number per month. After having tried it I really would like to keep going. In my opinion the ‘pay off’ I get for being at your service whenever and whatever you want is that I get play time. (I’m not saying that being at your service is not fun, or extremely hot when you decide to really take me!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Besides being my reward it is also very relaxing and calming to go into that place ….. Just like the maintenance spankings do it for you (and me too) so does the being tied up and at your mercy do it for me. ย You could possibly look at combining the two things? You have said that you can’t seem to get enough at those times. Perhaps you could plan some for earlier in the day and then proceed into some more play. (I know, there is that planning word again.)

I suppose having me tied up during one of your maintenance sessions is what they call a spanking scene. You could move from one area and position to another and maybe use some toys or orgasms in between. Instant scene idea for you Sir! ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope you agree because it sounds very much like a hot scene to me…with things we both would really enjoy!

Love you always

Spank me, ….. Please?

I’ve been feeling like I am missing the exchange of power ritual we were using when you came home from work. I know we also discussed making it more of a ‘ritual’ so that it doesn’t just get done in passing and sort of forgot ….ย I know that we are waiting on the new day collars to come in, in order to start that part of the exchange over again but I was hoping you had given some thought as to what else we could add to the exchange to make it more meaningful still.

I had also mentioned to you a few days ago that I would like some more impact connection with you to help keep my mind focused and quiet. I’m not sure just how it would work out exactly, with noise being a potential issue, but in my mind I guess I pictured being over your knee (or some position of your choosing) and have you warm my bottom before you had me kneel and then put on my day collar.

I’m feeling like even just a handful of smacks would easily put me into the mind I want to be in and I think it may work for you as well. It wouldn’t take more then a couple minutes and it wouldn’t need to be very hard so no need to worry about when you did want an actual play session. ย More symbolic, not a going into subspace thing…..

I know crouching down is difficult for you at times so perhaps you could have me kneel on ‘high knees’ in order to accept my day collar.

Please let me know what you think Sir. I guess I just want to feel like yours all the time! ๐Ÿ™‚ Love you Always

Enjoying the torment!

This business of D/s is certainly a double edged sword, at least for me! I love being close to you, being so in love that I just can’t get enough of you. It truly is a fantastic state to be in …. however, the other side of the coin is that I really don’t like being away from you! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

We’ve always spent most of our time together and pretty much all our free time together, but then there is the work days, and other necessities that must be dealt with. When we were first together I always hated those times apart, after a while (a long while) I was able to rationalize it, kind of push you to the back of my mind until your return. I always got butterflies when I knew you were close to home but at least the ache was more manageable while you were away.

Well I think the ache is back! The stronger you get as my Sir the more I NEED you near me. I can’t stop thinking about you with every free moment and I keep texting you silly things just to keep the connection between us closer …. My heart aches every moment we’re apart.

Please don’t take it the wrong way, I like my ache! Don’t try to fix it, don’t try to stop it … I like loving you so much my heart hurts when you are not here! Allowing you to put me in chains has allowed me the freedom to feel! I am alive, I like my life, and I wouldn’t change one thing…..as long as it’s my life with you!

Will His wonders never cease? :)

It was quite the bed time last night. Sorry I had a little explosion all over you again. I swear just when you think things are done and over with something else comes up and bites you in the ass. (And no where as good as when you do it Sir.) I know I shouldn’t even bother with it but sometimes I just can’t seem to shake it off.
Thank you again for being there, for getting me through, for making me okay ….. just like you always have. I swear you are the reason I still feel human. You are my rock when I need you and my soft place to fall. You still want to know why I will happily follow you? I want to do everything I can to please you, everything I can to show you how much you mean to me, and at the end of the day I want to be totally consumed by you. I want to know you want me that much that you can’t and won’t let me go.
I love being completely helpless in your arms, it’s the only chance I get to let go of all the stress and all the crap. I get to put all my trust in you, no thinking just feeling. It’s extremely freeing to have no control what so ever … I guess that’s why I want you to tie me up and take control. Raw passion, rough and rugged and all consuming ….
Kind of rambling today I guess….ย Love you!